Here's some of what gay marriage -- or any committed relationship between two gay people -- is:
Gay marriage is entering into an exciting but scary new realm of human existence, a realm where the focus on "me" transforms (eventually) into a focus on "us."
Gay marriage is the happiness and thrill of moving into your first new place together.
Gay marriage is missing your spouse desperately when the two of you are separated for a prolonged period of time.
Gay marriage is arguing, during the first year or two, about things that never ever are contentious in later years.
Gay marriage is finally allowing yourself to be totally vulnerable in front of another person and not worry that your vulnerability will be exploited.
Gay marriage is being deeply worried and anxious when you have to take your spouse to the emergency room because he is feeling very ill.
Gay marriage is not being able to fathom life without your spouse.
Gay marriage is professing your love for your spouse daily -- or more frequently.
Gay marriage is snuggling with your spouse under the blankets on a frigid winter night.
Gay marriage is smiling instead of cringing when your spouse hugs you and his unshaven face makes the nerve endings on your neck go into hypersensitive mode.
Gay marriage is doing a chore that your spouse was supposed to do, and not minding doing it.
Gay marriage is inviting friends or family over for a 4th of July cook-out and putting on a mini-fireworks-display in the back yard.
Gay marriage is quitting your job and moving to a distant city so your spouse can take a new job that will advance his career.
Gay marriage is going with your spouse to a social event that you know you will loathe, but not getting mad at him when he wants to skip an engagement you want him to attend.
Gay marriage is going on a trip to Europe with your spouse -- and his parents -- and enjoying it.
Gay marriage is being there to support your spouse emotionally when he needs it, and knowing that he'll be there to support you when you need it.
Gay marriage is watching yourselves grow older and marveling at all the many unexpected twists and turns your lives have taken together.
Gay marriage is knowing that the relationship you have with your spouse is good, precious and a true blessing.
Gay marriage is both you and your spouse wishing you knew each other when you were children.
Gay marriage is watching, over some period of years, as sex falls lower and lower on your list of what's important in a marriage.
Gay marriage is being amazed that, after 25 years, your love for each other still grows deeper.
Gay marriage is knowing that no person, no institution, no thing could split the two of you up.
Gay marriage is accepting that, at various times, you'll experience hurt, reassurance, anger, joy, distrust, respect, jealousy, understanding, confusion, bliss, resentment, praise, sorrow, guilt, self-affirmation, the sense that life is a dream, and the sense that life is a nightmare.
Gay marriage is -- a lot like a good heterosexual marriage, isn't it?